The Book of Lost Bodies

Arthur was an antique book collector who had spent years searching for a book that would change his life. It was the Book of Lost Bodies that was said to guarantee immortality. One day, he was summoned by the nephew of a recently deceased count. He wanted to dispose of the Count's library, so he called Arthur to catalogue the books. So, while rummaging through the library, he found the coveted book, recognising it by the engravings on the cover. He gently picked it up and placed it on the table. He slowly turned the pages. There were photos of people, each with a Latin caption underneath. A girl's face caught his attention, and, as if hypnotised, he read the caption: Anima Corpus Liberet.He was immediately enveloped in a mist. When it cleared, he had taken on the appearance of the girl in the photo. It was surprising enough, but what was even more surprising was that there was now a photo of him instead of the girl. He therefore imagined that the same thing had happened to the girl  and that she had found herself living in one of the bodies depicted in the book. She may have become the count himself.  With this newfound awareness, he returned the book to its place and headed towards the villa's exit. Although he knew that he would now have to live his life under a different identity, he wasn't worried. His body would have been kept safe and sound in the book while it waited for someone else to take possession of it.

Do You Want to Be Female?

Hey man, come closer! I heard you want to be a girl. Why do you want to be female? I don't understand. We are physically weaker and more vulnerable. We always have to worry about going out alone and being catcalled in the street. Do you even know that you can get overpowered very easily in a female body? We also have to deal with feminine regimen that men doesn't have to deal with. We menstruate every month and we have to deal with hormone surges. Estrogen makes us feel very soft and emotional. Not to mention the cost of tampons and pads! Do you really want that? We have to worry about getting pregnant when we have sex. I'd rather have a dick between my legs than a tiny clitoris and a pussy that gets wet. You're crazy to want this.

We can't stand to pee like men when we're desperate to relieve ourselves. We have no choice but to awkwardly squat and pee while exposing our butts. It's so inconvenient. We also have to wear a bra when we go out otherwise, our nipples stood out from our clothes. Do you know how much of a chore that is? Speaking of clothes, we are required to wear dresses and skirts to many formal events and workplaces. We also have to carry a stupid handbag because skirts and pants have no pockets. As you can see, women's clothing is not so practical; are you really sure you want to deal with all this?

Okay, let's be each other. Let's trade our bodies. I want to be a guy and you can get to be a real girl. I have a spell to make it happen. You can have my female body for good. I will have your manhood if you hate it that much. You can have my tits and my pussy. Enjoy being weak and petits because I don't want go back. Have fun being a woman while I have all your male privileges. And one more thing, don't forget to wipe from front to back, okay? Well let's swap!

 

The Best Wife He's Ever Had

Henry entered the house and went into the kitchen, where he found 
someone who appeared to be his wife:
Hi darling, how was your day? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes!
Oh, stop the charade, Martha, or whoever you are!
But what are you saying, darling? Maybe you're stressed. Relax on 
the couch while I...
Stop it! I have been keeping you in mind for a week. You have changed.
Yes, darling, it's true: I've changed. Today, I went to the hairdresser, 
and then I found this dress at the market. As for the shoes, they 
were gathering dust in the wardrobe, so I thought...
It's not about how you look, but how you act. You've recently become 
nicer and we haven't argued anymore.
It's because I realised that I still love you and I can't live without you, 
darling.
Don't try to fool me. I know my wife has started divorce proceedings.
But then she thought back. To when they opened the swap clinic. 
Oh my God! I understand. She did the swap, right? I want to know 
what your true identity is!
Henry approaches the woman in a threatening tone.
OK, you win. I'm not your wife; my name is Deborah. I was broke. 
Your wife contacted me and said that I would have a loving husband and 
a roof over my head, and that I would no longer have to worry about the 
future. In exchange, she would start a new life in my younger body. 
The woman continued the story, saying that if he let her stay, she would 
be the best wife he had ever had. Eventually, Henry was persuaded, and 
that night they had sex for the first time since the exchange. What Henry 
doesn't know is that his wife wanted to start her life over as a man, not 
a woman. So, she swapped bodies with William, not Deborah. However, 
William lacked the courage to tell Henry the truth for fear of rejection. 
But he is sure that when Henry gets used to sharing the bed with him, 
he will tell him the whole story. In a year or two, maybe.

Stand-up Comedy after the Great Shift

I was a boy. All I needed to do was go out with aftershave on. Then I could conquer the world. Now, with an eye contour, waterproof mascara, lip gloss, and volumizing hairspray, I'm ready to dump the trash.

I only experienced the heat during the summer. Now, thanks to my approaching menopause, I feel like a Flamethrower Pokémon. Now, with these hot flashes, I could cook a steak on my chest in five seconds — no joke!

In my twenties, eating a four-cheese pizza and drinking an ice-cold beer at midnight wasn't a problem. Now I risk getting an upset stomach just looking at a plate of French fries. That's why I always carry a bottle of Pepto Bismol in my bag.

The truth is that, in my twenties, my body was like an amusement park. Now, it's a museum. With signs: “Caution: Do not touch. Sensitive area. Risk of inflammation."